Monthly blog post #1
Be positive, be positive, be positive. That’s my new mantra. I’m trying, honestly I am, but some days are easier than others. Today doesn’t seem to be one of the easy days. I’ve been at my mom’s officially for one week now, and while the transition hasn’t been nearly as traumatic for everyone as I thought it might be, there have been some pretty significant hurdles to get over.
The lack of space is a big one, but we’re making due with what we have. There’s no other choice. Another is finding an outlet for my emotions as I deal with the roller coaster ride of ups and downs taking place after such a huge change. Normally I write away my anger but the lack of space means I can’t do much when the house is full to find ‘computer’ time. I’ve taken to using a notebook and pen to get out the worst of my frustrations as I lay in bed after everyone else has gone to sleep, and it has helped some. The story I started last night is rather dark though so it may just be one of those pieces the world never gets to see. Depends on how it ends up, which is always a total mystery to me. I’m a definite pantser so I never know how the story will end until I get there.
I’m not sure I’ve ever written anything this angsty and depressing before and the main character is definitely dealing with all the ugly emotions running through my head right now. Reading back on what i wrote last night was actually a little bit creepy. It really brought home to me how angry and depressed I am over all these sudden changes and how much it is affecting my day to day life.
On the bright side if it does turn out to have a happy ending it’s going to be one hell of a story. I’m trying to keep my happy face on for everyone so I guess I finally let my guard down when I started writing this new piece last night.
I’ve also fallen back into a major bad habit of mine that I need to break ASAP. I’m a stress eater. Some people stop eating when they are stressed and lose mass amounts of weight, I am the total opposite. The refrigerator or the junk food cabinet and all they contain are my best friends when I feel emotionally unstable. I fell into that last year and gained a significant amount of weight, which I recently managed to lose 25 pounds of, so i don;t want to go down that road again, but it’s so easy to do. I’m going to start walking or going to the gym again I think. Something to keep me occupied instead of stuffing my face. Halloween is coming and that’s my favorite holiday of the year. This year I am determined to fit into a costume and enjoy myself.
Ok, I have chores to be done before i can sit down to try and type out some of what I wrote last night. Some of these blog posts will be very short updates and others will be more long winded like this one. LOL Hang in there with me. I love comments so feel free and I’ll be back here tomorrow.
Try to stay sane everyone,
Beth
Beth's 'Wylde' Blog 
Hang in there Beth. Ive gone through some changes in my life recently as well and in time things will get better:)
jenny - September 22, 2014 at 6:18 pm |
Hi Beth,
We all go through these bouts of depression at one time or another. I’m a stress eater, too, so yes, don’t go down that road. Give it time and things will get better.
skmarshall2014 - September 22, 2014 at 9:33 pm |
I know what you are feeling. I get so down too. I like that you are getting an outlet at least with pen and paper. I’m anxious to hear how the story works itself out. Maybe this will be the “big one”… Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
melissakeir - September 22, 2014 at 11:30 pm |
I’ll follow you through your troubled times reading your blog. My prayers are with you.
Hugs
treknray - September 23, 2014 at 1:24 am |
Beth, my heart goes out to you (both our hearts, hubs and mine). Writing it out is one of the best things you can do – and what a story it will be, with a heroine struggling with raw emotion. And walking. Anything that gets your heart rate into an aerobic zone produces endorphins that improve your mood, so it’ll help with both mood and weight control. So glad you’re doing this blog.
adrianakraft - September 23, 2014 at 2:26 am |
Hi Beth,
Trust and know that God is with you always. Looking forward in reading your new best seller.
Adrienne - September 23, 2014 at 2:26 am |
Hi, Beth,
Your unconscious knows what you need. I suspect it’s very healthy to be pouring the dark stuff onto the page, as opposed to keeping it inside.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Lisabet Sarai - September 23, 2014 at 10:41 am |
Beth,
I don’t know you personally as other people who commented seem to, so I can’t know what you’re going through. I was directed to your blog through a writers group we both belong to. I can say I hope whatever problems or situations you’re in disappear quickly. What I can say is I enjoy your writings and I’m glad I got the chance to encounter you through a random email I received.
John Sassone - September 25, 2014 at 1:51 pm |