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The Harder She Comes blogtour continues here with CS Clark

Feminist Enlightenment Tips for Bois and Other Fellas

This post is coming to you as part of The Harder She Comes anthology blog tour. A big thanks to D. L. King and Cleis Press for keeping us all in a state of literary arousal! The Harder She Comes is a sexy, smart compilation full of well-crafted stories touching on the many nuances of the butch/femme dynamic. As an avowed butch-lovin’ femme, a favorite subject of mine. When I was asked to participate, I thought this might be a perfect opportunity to educate some of the less feminist inclined amongst the brotherhood of the masculine, to offer a little help for those fabulous butch bois who are on their way to becoming gentlemen.

Gentle. Man. Is there a better way to describe a true stud, one who doesn’t need to throw macho bullshit power around just to prove his/her masculinity? Because that’s what it really takes to love a woman, a heart strong enough to be gentle, compassionate, loving. And to have the good sense to know the difference between when a lady needs to be held and listened to, and when she just needs you to bang the hell out of her.

So if you’re ready for your first dose of real femme advice on being the best man you can be, listen up.

• God(ess) is a Woman, no matter what your church or this society taught you. Look around – all life comes from the womb, not the penis. Respect the pussy and it will do fabulous things for you. And no, wanting to get into lots of different pussies isn’t exactly a form of worship.
• We like when you stare at our cleavage, just not while we’re talking.
• Yes, the small things do matter. All of them.
• Cook for us. Sometimes at least, even if we’re better at it than you.
• If you really, truly can’t cook, doing a gal’s laundry goes a long way. Just don’t screw it up and shrink our shit.
• It really is almost always not about what you say, but how you say it.
• We don’t need you, not like a 50’s housewife anyway. But we want you – you, exactly the way you are, in all your masculine/androgynous/transgender/aggressive glory – and that means much more.
• If you started the courtship holding doors and paying for dinner, we will likely continue to expect it for the next hundred years or so.
• We deserve your full-fledged attention and devotion far more AFTER we’ve been dating you for several years than we did when you were courting us. When we feel ignored, taken for granted, or just not very special, we stop wanting to have sex. With you, anyway.
• Massages that are just a prelude to sex don’t count.
• Don’t assume that whatever you need, we have it in our purse.
• Don’t assume we carry a purse.
• Don’t assume we hate sports.
• Don’t torture those of us that do by explaining the game to us. You know how you feel when we talk about what to do with our hair? Yep, it’s that boring.
• Don’t lie. And don’t pretend. When something’s going on, we know. The meanest thing you can do to a woman is make her question her own intuition and convince her she’s crazy.
• If you think all bitches are crazy, it’s because you’re an asshole.
• Some bitches are just crazy. Don’t make babies or buy property with them.

Don’t you feel better now that we’ve cleared all that up? Here’s hoping you leave this page a bit wiser for reading it. Me? I’m off to hang a copy of this on the wall above the bed. On my fiancée’s side.

Get your copy of The Harder She Comes: Butch Femme Erotica anywhere good books are sold. To make it easier, you can get it from Amazon


 or directly from Cleis Press (

Check out who’s coming up on the tour:

May 1 D. L. King
May 2 Anna Watson
May 3 Evan Mora
May 4 River Light
May 5 Sinclair Sexsmith
May 6 Crystal Barela
May 7 CS Clark
May 8 Valerie Alexander
May 9 Andrea Dale
May 10 Beth Wylde
May 11 Kathleen Bradean
May 12 Teresa Noelle Roberts
May 13 Shanna Germain
May 14 Charlotte Dare
May 15 Rachel Kramer Bussel


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